The Effect of Pregnancy on Sexual Relations
A childbirth educator at Elizabeth Seton Childbearing Center in New York City often shocks her audience by acknowledging that labor has a very sexual core component and that it deserves the same privacy and respect that couples reserve for sexual relations. Undoubtedly, many in her audience find this comparison ironic, as pregnancy and the birth of a child are often linked with decreased sexual activity for the new parents. The truth is that the physical changes of pregnancy may make sexual relations more challenging. However, women can also enjoy increased desire because of increased blood flow in the genital region. Nonetheless, decreased sexual activity during the late stages of pregnancy and the postpartum period are the norm according to Steven Goldstein, an obstetrician/gynecologist at the New York University Medical Center.
The standard guidelines for resuming sexual relations during the postpartum period are to wait for six weeks, unless there was trauma associated with the birth that precludes this. In this case, it's best to wait until complete healing has occurred. Many women find, however, that even after the required abstinence period comes to an end, their desire for sex is still low or nonexistent. Moreover, because breastfeeding decreases a woman's estrogen levels, the drive for sex is generally lower while she is breastfeeding. The inward fear is that sexual intimacy is part of a long-ago chapter in a couples' life together. Dr. Goldstein suggests otherwise: "It's natural to have a higher level of anxiety when you have a newborn, and this can affect sex drive," he says. So while there is a psychological component to diminished sexual drive during the postpartum period, it's not unhealthy.
Dr. Goldstein asserts that the best way to address decreased libido is to first be patient. Subsequently, if sexual relations continue to be a problem, a gynecologist should be consulted to rule out any "organic" physiological causes of diminished drive. Next, a couple should try to go away for the weekend or seek a situation in which there is no pressure. "This is the best way to rediscover why you are together in the first place," he says. Finally, be willing to explore any sexual problems psychologically from the perspective of how having a new baby affects you and your emotions. Dr. Goldstein has found that a combining this approach with a great deal of patience is an effective strategy for his patients. For more information about sexual relations during pregnancy, see Paternity Angel.